The return of Delores

What is my life?? For those who are not aware, there is a very special woman in our life whose name is Delores. Why this name you ask? It all started on our trip to THE Alpharetta, GA for Spring Break 2010. Upon our arrival Maria, Mel and I were greeted by a "bottom-less" manikin draped in jewels and lingerie. My aunt Tree and cousin Liz found her in their neighborhood woods covered in dirt and debris. They took her into their home where she is now a part of the family. But alas! She was victim to a tragic accident which impaled her bottom half, leading to the loss of her body from the bellybutton down! While we are not sure of the exact story, we have surmised is has something to do with a tractor and childhood experiences. The truth is still unknown (Any information can be posted to my page...a reward may be offered depending on the content!) In any case, the three of us left for the beach and thought it only fair that we take along Delores. Afterall, any woman who is devoid of her womanhood should not be without some sort of wild weekend. She boozed it up, let loose and kept up with our vacation experiences. She certainly made a reputation for herself in Panama City, FL. Her legacy is epic! Sadly, we had to leave her in GA. Turns out she has a different sort of reputation to uphold in her hometown. What sort of sisters would we be to tear her away from normalcy??

Our lives have never been the same without our dear friend, however Melissa left me the best surprise ever which I found upon my return to 13th. I was greeted with a poster of "D", framed in the finest cherry wood finish our local Goodwill has to offer. She stares out into our livingroom from the fireplace, seductively holding back her 80's style perm, exposing her collarbones with sit atop a black button-up vest with gold buttons down the front. Clad in her bright red lip liner, darkened lids, red hot tights and silver peep toes pumps, D has successfully established herself as our best aesthetic to our humble abode. So here's to you, Delores! We can only aspire to acheive your level of greatness. Cheers! DELIGHT!

Above is a picture of D and I delighting in a toddy before hitting the beach!

Burnt plastic and PB and J

This is my first blog ever. The original plan was to start June 1 to June 1, because this is the next chapter to my post-graduated life. But my morning was too epic to pass up. Woke up this morning with a massive headache, the fruits of my not-so-late labor of delighting in katherine's pony keg. Perhaps not such a bad idea at the time but my digestive system did not like me this morning. Of course, I ended my night with the leftovers in the fridge. The shmorgus board of food was no doubt off the charts of my caloric intake. Naturally, I woke up hungry and craved my usual PB&J...toasted of course! Devoid of a toaster (why not?!) I turn on the broiler on high--efficiency was the only route to satisfy my hunger. I go upstairs to grab my computer and the smell of something burning hits me in the face as soon as I come downstairs. Of course the tupperware from my primal late night feeding were stting on the burner. Why did the heavy duty lid have to burn? Doesn't it always seem to happen this way? I frantically stick it in the sink and call my mum with her suggestions for cleaning it up. After a brief sigh (I can already hear the "you'll burn the house down" flashback from my childhood) she told me to scrape it off. Fail.com. I burnt my fingertips and nearly put a hole in the papertowel on which I slung the half-way melted piece. Why did I use a paper receptical? Who knows.

Then the smell of burning returns! Was it the phantom plasticware again? Did I miss one in my frenzy? Nope--my toast burnt. Apparently it didn't matter because I smeared the PB on one side and the jam on the other. This is my second dilema of the morning--why I chose to cut corners on generic jam I will never know. I consume at least one PB&J every day--needless to say I go through a berry field of jam every week. On a budget of only $40 for two weeks I was without any jam and becoming quite cranky because I has not had my fix in about 3 days. No good. For consideration and safety of my roomates I finally went to the grocery.vvI seriously debated in the jam isle for 5 whole minutes (longer than one would expect) about generic vs. Smuckers. I made the wrong choice and am now STUCK with a huge jar of strawberry (not even the mixed berry that I prefer...too expensive even on the fake front). What is a girl to do??? On top of all this, I cannot find my glasses and am currently typing this throughblurry eyes. Can't take much more.

Signing off for now. Must make the decision to shower before lunch. Is a three day streak too much??