Do you ever stop to think about how many interpretations exist for the meaning of "fast food?" Quick to order and quick to pay; the most bang for your buck; and pretty well the quintessential "must have" for soccer moms and dads across the globe. I appreciate the fast food industry for all of these reasons and I am not one to diss on a speedy burger, especially those from the dollar menu. However, tonight I experienced a different kind of fast food--one which no one should ever have to encounter. Here is the story...
In an effort to curb my late night hunger, which resulted from a very small dinner of sushi and about 5 glasses of water, I drive up to McDonalds. Quick, easy, affordable, and always delicious. I order one hamburger and one cheeseburger (save the smirks--the cheeseburger was for Emily) and pull up to the first window to pay. As the window slides open I am immediately taken back, as the cashier woman had two eyes which stared in very, very different directions. I play it safe and look straight to the eyebrow (that's right, it was unified). I noticed that she had what looked to be very long neon fingernails and she was chomping on gum. However, when she took my card I leaned in a bit for a closer glance. Through the mesh screen it was clear that this employee was not chewing in a rhythmic motion such as one usually does with gum. Rather, it was a distinct chew-chew-swallow-chew....The woman was EATING ON THE JOB! And not even with her mouth closed! the window slides back and as if the thought of her mushy food particles on my credit card isn't enough, I realize that what I thought were neon nails was actually bits of burger bun sledged under her thumb nail. I swear to you my upper-lip touched my nose in the most poignant scowl of disgust. I had no choice but to reach for the card--although, I seriously contemplated telling her to keep it rather than chance the contraction of chewed meat. After my $2.10 purchase, she would only benefit $1.89. But the thought of waiting 10 days for a replacement just didn't seem worth it. Begrudgingly, I fling the card on my passenger seat and pull up to get my burgers. A kind, smiling young woman opens the window and places the bag right into my hands. I hesitated, wondering if I should start the conversation with a request for sauce or if I should just go for it. Bypassing the condiments was a hard choice, but I took the high road and told this woman that the cashier seemed to be eating something and from the looks of the food on her fingers I think it was a hamburger. That's right--I said it. Like a badass... But the result was anti-climatic. The woman thanked me for letting her know and assured me that she would ask the cashier to wash her hands. WASH HER HANDS?? great--this is obviously a necessary part of the equation. But how about starting with, "Hey lady! Stop eating on the clock and if you are going to do it anyway, chew with your mouth CLOSED!" Apparently the cashier's interpretation of fast food was shoveling as much in her mouth as humanly possible, in between taking orders. Gross.
